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A Fireside Story - How St. Patrick Banished the last Serpent
by Joe McGowan

March is the month when we celebrate the bringing of Christianity to Ireland by St. Patrick. For most people now it has little religious significance at all and indeed in many places, including Ireland, it is nothing more than a pagan bacchanal, or an instrument by which we can coax more tourist dollars, or yen, or whatever you have in your pocket, to Ireland.

Let's go back to more innocent times then and find out how St. Patrick, having banished all the snakes out of Ireland, outwitted one last obdurate, wily old serpent. The story is ancient and was told around Sligo firesides up to the middle of the last century. A nice one to tell to your children.

Civility costs nothing!
St. Patrick by the power of God drove all the snakes out of Ireland. Those that could not be driven out were allowed to stay but they had to submit to being turned into conger eels having all the poison washed out of them.

There was one big wise old snake of which St. Patrick could not get the better. He could neither lead, drive nor coax him and, mind you, he was in quite a pucker about it!

Following many sleepless nights Patrick hit on a plan. He got a big box, and with great ceremony placed it in front of his altar on top of Croagh Patrick mountain. The old snake was not far away and, half in and half out of his hole, kept an eye on the saint out of the corner of his eye. You see he didn't want to give Patrick the satisfaction of knowing that he was worried and so pretended not to notice what was going on. Still, after a while curiosity got the better of him and...

"What are you going to do with that box, Pat," says he.
You see by this time the two were on first name terms, or at least the old serpent thought they were. The two had been adversaries for a long time and the snake, while he would never admit it, had a sneaking regard for St. Patrick and his abilities.

"That's my business", answered the saint abruptly.
"Civility costs nothing" replied the snake sharply, quite offended by Patrick's rebuff. "It's not much of a box anyway when all's said and done."
"It's big enough to hold you, you old bag of bones", said Patrick taunting his slithery opponent.
"That's a lie for you," said the snake taking the bait, "The half of me wouldn't fit into it.

A dangerous wager
The saint didn't bat an eye: "That's as it may be", he answered as mild as milk, "but I'll bet you a bottle of poteen it would hold you with no trouble at all!"
"Done with you", said the serpent, "but you're not to try any tricks with the crook of your staff if I come out of here!"
"Honour bright", said the saint and put the staff away behind a rock.
The serpent came out of his hole and began slithering into the box swelling himself to twice his natural size till the box was full. A good bit of the end of his tail was still sticking out and he was quite pleased with himself to have won the bet.
"There now for you Pat, I knew I would win, now what do you think of that."
With that St. Patrick slammed down the heavy lid of the box all of a sudden. The snake didn't have time to get out of the way or out of the box so he whipped his tail in afraid it would be snapped off. In two seconds flat the saint had the key turned in the lock, lifted the box to his shoulder and with a mighty heave flung it out into the Atlantic.

And that is how the last serpent in Ireland was outwitted by St. Patrick!"

Image Credits:
Tartan Place/Christine O’Keeffe
Snake/Vaveeva

Reprinted with the kind permission of the author.

Author’s Bio
Joe Mc Gowan is a local historian and native of Mullaghmore, Co. Sligo. Born on the family farm, he worked there in his early years until emigrating to the U.S.A. in the early ‘60s. Six months after he arrived, he was drafted into the U. S. army. Following discharge from the Army, he lived and worked in the U.S. in commercial and residential construction for many years. Marrying, he returned to Ireland with his wife and young family in the late ‘70s. The ‘Celtic Tiger’ was not yet born, scarcity of work dictated a career change, so Joe took up salmon and lobster fishing off the Sligo coast aboard his half-decker fishing boat the ‘Connaught Ranger’ and conducting tour-boat trips to Inishmurray aboard the ‘Excalibur’ with his partner Keith Clarke.

Shortly after his return to Ireland, Joe Mc Gowan, becoming keenly aware of the accelerating pace of change in the Irish countryside, decided to record the old lore before it vanished completely. Since that time he has been dedicated to preserving, visually and orally, Ireland ’s disappearing traditions and customs. Now a full-time writer his books, backed by meticulous archival research, are inspired by countless nights spent visiting the older generation and listening to their tales. His short stories, usually cameos of Irish life both past and present, feature frequently in national magazines and on radio. He is also a Heritage Specialist with the Irish National Teachers Organisation ‘Heritage in Schools Scheme’.

His publications include the classic: In the Shadow of Benbulben; Echoes of a Savage Land; Constance Markievicz; the People’s Countess; Co. Sligo Famine Book; Inishmurray Gale, Stone and Fire; Island Voices and most recently, co-authored with artist Anne Osborne: Sligo, Land of Destiny.

The days of the fireside story-tellers are gone, but their stories and lore happily live on in Joe’s books and now on his website:
http://www.sligoheritage.com.